Excerpts from How Not to Talk to Your Kids:
[...] those who think that innate intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids' reasoning goes; I don't need to put out effort. Expending effort becomes stigmatized-it's public proof that you can't cut it on your natural gifts.
In the opinion of cognitive scientist Daniel T. Willingham, a teacher who praises a child may be unwittingly sending the message that the student [has] reached the limit of his innate ability, while a teacher who criticizes a pupil conveys the message that he can improve his performance even further.
Students turn to cheating because they haven't developed a strategy for handling failure.
Take-home points lifted from here:
- Don't tell them they are smart... tell them they worked hard.
- Don't praise them for being good at something... tell them they are getting better through practice.
- Don't tell them they are bad at something... tell them how to do it right.
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